To me, there’s something wrong celebrating the day we were born. Not only don’t we remember the occasion, there was no effort on our part to help Mom’s effort to give birth as quick as possible. If anything, it’s our mom that went through months of effort and discomfort and often pain and anger before they popped us out.
OK we did experience some jerk slapping us on the butts but that's nothing in comparison to what our moms went through to give us life.
So here’s my proposal. Don't stop giving me presents. I recommend that the President declare an executive order that in addition to our presents, all Mothers be given presents, hugs and kisses to celebrate those days she popped one of us out.